PLAYING THE FAST FORWARD Originally written on: September 9, 2009, 8:23 am …
PLAYING THE FAST FORWARD
Originally written on: September 9, 2009, 8:23 am
I longed for your demise on humid afternoons after suffering heavy beatings for forced naps when I was a kid while hearing my friends giggling and having fun playing kick ball just outside the house enjoying the sun and dirt. After long years, He granted my wish and took you away for good, now that I changed my mind, now that I am too dependent on you, now that I did not want it to happen anymore. Life is totally different when you left but not the old house, we always kept it clean, at par with your standards of cleanliness, standards that for me is hoarder leaning, cluttered and of no artistic value. I never liked your flea market bargain collections, imagine buying stuff that other people consider trash, along with the vast amount of wedding souvenirs from years of attendance. Looking at them now made me realize how many friends you acquired with every piece. It is just enormous! You should have seen them all during your wake until we all bid you farewell. They all talked about you and how they became extensions of our family, the stories they told were all amazing and heart warming, we all shared a fair amount of smiles and tears. Furniture arrangements are the same especially your favorite rocking chair, your throne, same spot where you had your final breath. I can still imagine you sitting on the same spot with my siblings filling you with bear hugs, pinches and wet kisses giving you fits and joy at the same time because your grown up babies were back to get a dose of you. A bit changed in the house though, I don’t smell your dishes around the house anymore and the scent of your sweat from hard work preparing our meals. Kare-kare, kaldereta and adobo just do not taste as good anymore, I really miss your cooking ‘Nay. On my low days I visit your house. I spend nap times that I rarely have these days on your bed. I hug your pillow with some strands of your hair left on it just so I can feel good afterwards. My best sleeps were beside you ‘Nay, memories of childhood when all my worries were nonexistent because of your comforting warmth. The house is silent now, I don’t hear your usual nagging voice, screaming and cursing from watching thrilling movies and annoying reminders of undone chores, even cries of disappointment every time I answer back to you which I always do. I miss everything aside from the latter ‘Nay and I am so sorry…..
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